Haircuts with Herb by Ed Belote Sr.

Herb Benjamin has been cutting hair in the town of North East, Maryland for more than forty-five years. His barbershop (just off the side of his tackle shop) has become a landmark, and all who visit appreciate Herb’s affable, witty personality. Getting a cut at Herb’s is like stepping back in time; almost like being in Mayberry — the friendship and laughter beckon you to come back for more. Push open that squeaky screen door — come on in and listen...

July/August 2010:
Cheaters & Heroes

As I stepped into Herb’s, I made an announcement that no one could argue with: “What a beautiful day — It’s great to be alive!”

“Yes, it is,” said Herb. “But you and I know it can change on a dime, Ed. I was feeling on top of the world the other day. Sun was out, I stepped out of my back door, twisted my ankle and fell to the ground in terrible pain. Well, that big old Bassett Hound I have jumped on my head and started licking me — he thought I was playing.” Everybody in the room started laughing.
“Are you going to enter that Big Tomato Contest?” I asked Herb. “Yes, I will, especially if I grow a big tomato,” he replied.

An old boy who had been sitting there, not saying much, suddenly came alive and said, “All you got to do is take a ride up in Pennsylvania Amish country and buy yourself one.”

“Well,” I replied, “he’ll be around a lot of people when he wins, and photographs will be taken for publication, and if he did cheat, word will get out … I mean someone might say this guy doesn’t even have a garden.”

Wise ole Herb chimed in, “What you need to do is keep the prize money low, so that it won’t be worth it to cheat.” Suddenly everybody’s head looked like that little dog in the back car window, bobbing up and down in agreement.

“Years back we had something like that happen to us in a Rockfish tournament,” said Herb. The prize money was too big; $15,000 prize for the biggest Rockfish and $10,000 for the 2nd place fish.

“Later we found out these guys caught the fish in the Delaware Bay, and the rules clearly state they have to be fished from the Chesapeake Bay. Anyhow, they got caught.”
“How in the world did they catch them?” I asked Herb.

“The story is a little involved, but, this is how I understand it,” said Herb. “Number one, weigh-in was scheduled at 3:00 p.m. and these guys were the first back in … exactly at 3:00 p.m. And it was a windy day, I mean 25-35 miles per hour, and these guys had a small 16 foot john boat type thing. And they said they came around Turkey Point which couldn’t be true because their clothes were dry. My gosh you would be soaked to the bone going around Turkey Point in that kind of wind, even if you were in a 25 footer!

The small audience began to softly chuckle; ole Herb sounded like Sherlock Holmes. But hang in there, my friends; it gets better …

“On top of that, they pulled their boat in at the Charlestown ramp and it just so happened that Cap’n Mike and his buddy came upon the scene. And Mike picked up a slip of paper that showed these guys had checked in a Bluefish from the Delaware Bay at a tackle shop the day before. So this proves that they were fishing the day before in the Delaware Bay.

“One of the Rockfish officials knew what was going on, and asked these boys when they last fished the Delaware Bay. They replied, ‘Last week.’ The official knew they were lying because stamped on that little piece of paper was the previous day’s date. And the fish looked old, not freshly caught; its eyes were cloudy, and the stripes weren’t fresh, milky looking.

“We had to go to court over this thing. Oh, before I go any further, let me explain something. You have to take a lie-detector test if there are any discrepancies over your catch. As a matter of fact every contestant signs a contract that they would do so. These guys took the test and failed!

When these boys stood before the judge, Donnie Cole, Cole said, ‘I don’t know anything about these lie-detectors. I don’t know if they are 10% accurate or 90% accurate, but I do know you fellows signed an agreement that simply says if you fail the lie-detector test, you don’t get the money.’ Smashing his gavel, Judge Cole said, ‘And that’s my rule.’”

Marines Richard Simpers and Ryan Golder

The shop soon emptied and I started to pack up when these two young fellows walked in. I recognized immediately that they were Marines. It was a pleasure to meet 20-year-old Richard Simpers from Rising Sun and his buddy, Ryan Golder, 19, who were preparing to ship out to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. They had met at boot camp and become buddies.

With a twinkle in his eyes and a sneaky grin, Herb asked, “At any time during boot camp did you boys think you may have made a mistake?” Without hesitation both boys replied in unison, “Yes.” —CSM